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Your baby's temperament

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  • Your baby’s temperament
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Is your baby easy-going or uptight?

Is she easy or hard to understand?

Does she cry a lot—or hardly ever?

Do you feel you can make her happy—or not?

Each baby is born with a certain personality. You do not cause her to be that way. Get to know your baby and learn to love her just the way she is. Understanding her the way she is helps you be more patient with her and with yourself.

Here are some of the differences among babies:

baby playing with mom

Easy-going: These babies are relaxed, calm and easy to please. Their signs are clear. Easy-going babies eat and sleep regularly and might even put themselves on a schedule!

What you can do to help: Go by your baby’s signs. Know that you can trust her to show you what to do for her.

Slow-to-warm-up: These babies are somewhere in between easy-going and uptight. It takes them a while to get used to new things. Slow-to-warm up babies might not act pleased or happy, even when parents get it right!

What you can do to help: Do what most babies like, even if it doesn’t seem to work. Know she won’t like new things, including food, the first time. Stop when she says stop. Offer her lots of chances to learn to like new things. Don’t get pushy, but don’t give up, either.

Up-tight: These babies are wound up, touchy, and hard to figure out. They get upset by anything new and don’t give clear signs for what they do want. They don’t do the same thing twice. You can’t know ahead of time when they will eat or sleep, be fussy or happy.

What you can do to help: Do what most babies like, even if it doesn’t work at first. Keep trying, but know her getting upset is not your fault or hers, either. Right now, it is just the way she is. Expect each day to be different. Be as calm and steady as you can. Get help if you need to.

© Ellyn Satter

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    Side-Lying Hold

    1. For the right breast, lie on your right side with your baby facing you.
    2. Pull your baby close. Your baby’s mouth should be level with your nipple.
    3. In this position, you can cradle your baby’s back with your left arm and support yourself with your right arm and/or pillows.
    4. Keep loose clothing and bedding away from your baby.
    5. Reverse for the left breast.

    This hold is useful when:

    • You had a C-section
    • You want to rest while baby feeds
    • You are breastfeeding in the middle of the night
    • You and your baby are comfortable in this position

    Cross-Cradle Hold

    1. For the right breast, use your left arm to hold your baby’s head at your right breast and baby’s body toward your left side. A pillow across your lap can help support your left arm.
    2. Gently place your left hand behind your baby’s ears and neck, with your thumb and index finger behind each ear and your palm between baby’s shoulder blades. Turn your baby’s body toward yours so your tummies are touching.
    3. Hold your breast as if you are squeezing a sandwich. To protect your back, avoid leaning down to your baby. Instead, bring your baby to you.
    4. As your baby’s mouth opens, push gently with your left palm on baby’s head to help them latch on. Make sure you keep your fingers out of the way.
    5. Reverse for the left breast.

    This hold is useful when:

    • Your baby is premature
    • Your baby has a weak suck
    • Your baby needs help to stay latched
    • Your baby needs extra head support
    • You and your baby are comfortable in this position

    Clutch or “Football” Hold

    1. For the right breast, hold your baby level, facing up, at your right side.
    2. Put your baby’s head near your right nipple and support their back and legs under your right arm.
    3. Hold the base of your baby’s head with your right palm. A pillow underneath your right arm can help support your baby’s weight.
    4. To protect your back, avoid leaning down to your baby. Bring baby to you instead.
    5. Reverse for the left breast.

    This hold is useful when:

    • You had a C-section
    • You have large breasts
    • You have flat or inverted nipples
    • You have a strong milk let-down
    • You are breastfeeding twins
    • Your baby likes to feed in an upright position
    • Your baby has reflux
    • You and your baby are comfortable in this position

    Cradle Hold

    1. For the right breast, cradle your baby with your right arm. Your baby will be on their left side across your lap, facing you at nipple level.
    2. Your baby’s head will rest on your right forearm with your baby’s back along your inner arm and palm.
    3. Turn your baby’s tummy toward your tummy. Your left hand is free to support your breast, if needed. Pillows can help support your arm and elbow.
    4. To protect your back, avoid leaning down to your baby. Instead, bring your baby to you.
    5. Reverse for the left breast.

    This hold is useful when:

    • Your baby needs help latching on
    • You and your baby are comfortable in this position

    Laid-Back Hold

    1. Lean back on a pillow with your baby’s tummy touching yours and their head at breast level. Some moms find that sitting up nearly straight works well. Others prefer to lean back and lie almost flat.
    2. You can place your baby’s cheek near your breast, or you may want to use one hand to hold your breast near your baby. It’s up to you and what you think feels best.
    3. Your baby will naturally find your nipple, latch, and begin to suckle.

    This hold is useful when:

    • Your baby is placed on your chest right after birth
    • You have a strong milk let-down
    • You have large breasts
    • You and your baby are comfortable in this position